Monday, July 7, 2008

Moment by moment

I have had a lovely week here on the ranch. No particular adventures or lowlights. I walked to the top of Lonely Tree/One Tree Hill (different employees have different names for it) which is a three tiered hilltop with a single tree on the second and third tiers. And a pile of rocks on the top that a local author, John Rember, adds a stone to every time he takes a walk up. It was much steeper than I thought, but not a particularly long hike. The view looked like that from a plane. Everything on the ranch looked so small. Between the view from the top, finishing the book "The Shack" and seeing the moving "Into the Wild", I'm just a enjoying being a goopy mess of living in the moment. My neck hasn't hurt in a month. My heart hasn't any of it's dull aches that tell me I'm ignoring something in life. My job has been boring this week, but part of that is because the owners' were here, so there were no new people to meet.

Living with the people that you work with puts an interesting dynamic on "the job." Some people are still hard to get to know. Apparently some people are just naturally reserved and don't want to share what's going on inside no matter how much time they spend with you. I obviously relate to that, seeing as I have a blog on the internet. I guess nothing can replace time in getting to know most people.

I have spent a lot of my time talking to Jeff, the maintenance guy (no, nothing romantic). He went through a pretty bitter divorce almost two years ago and loves to talk about "what's it all about?"- which, as most of you know, is my favorite subject. Should you have goals, or just go with what comes you way? are there any shoulds? how do you let go of your plans? I have to say that I have come to be thankful for any bitter/angry time that I may have had- it sure makes me a lot more compassionate for others. Since I seem to be mostly over mine, I kinda want to slap him and say, "get over it, you're alive and well", but as many of you tried that on me at certain points, and I know how ineffective it was till I was ready to get over it, I'm attempting to let Jeff just be where he is- since apparently I can't change anybody anyways.

Other than that, I've been enjoying the pool most nights. Went into town on the 3rd of July and got to see a one-man band play everything from "Jump" to "Ring of Fire." You haven't really lived till you here a 60 year-old man squeal out "Jump" in the middle of an acoustic guitar/harmonica/trombone/kazoo version of the song. I was the designated driver on the 4th. I got to see some pretty good fireworks in Stanley (nothing compares to Sternwheel Festival in Marietta), but watching the Kids getting drunk and sliding over the dance floor made me feel sober and old. Partook in a fierce game of Dominoes with my housemates- (I remember playing when I was little with Grampy- so the rules came back pretty easily- what a fun game). Walked all over the meadows on the ranch.

2 comments:

Jerry said...

"I'm attempting to let Jeff just be where he is- since apparently I can't change anybody anyways."

Emily,

I beg to differ. You have an enormous impact on some of the people you meet.

Jerry

Jerry said...

Some of the time.